to my littlest big girl

Dearest Little Kaia,

Today you turned 1 year old AND started walking. Two big milestones in one day - phew!  You walked from the kitchen into the living room and back, without stumbling once, and seemed SO pleased with yourself. You were smiling and gabbering the entire time, like you had been walking for weeks. What a fun little birthday present for yourself.

You love to be outside to look for birdies and doggies and squeal with delight if we happen upon either.  You point to the trees and say, "Whasa?" (what's that?) when you hear the birds chirping. Your reaction to dogs is the best, though. You screech and squirm until you're close enough to see and then you point and say, "Dowee" (doggie) and grunt three times for "ruff, ruff, ruff." It makes us laugh with pure delight.

Tonight we celebrated just with our little family and you devoured your Elmo cupcake for dessert. I don't think you could believe mommy was letting you get so messy and were very tentative initially, but after the first few bites of frosting there was no turning back.

I can hardly believe you are a whole year old, that we've known you and loved you for that long. We are grateful you came to join our family, and if you could start sleeping through the night regularly, we'd be that much more grateful.:-)

Happy First Birthday, Kaia Elizabeth.

three and one half...

My little baby is 3 1/2 years old, and now the one half becomes very important.

Happy Half-Birthday to you, Happy Half-Birthday to you,Happy Half-Birthday Dear Zoey, Happy Half-Birthday to YOU!

preschool

Today was Zoey's first day of preschool.

We wrapped an apple for Mrs. Drew and Mrs. Manna...

...we posed for pictures with our new pink boots and butterfly bag...

...we posed for several more pictures...

...we would only allow Mommy one picture once at school because we were so excited...

...we RAN out after school to see Mommy.

 Zoey, this is what I want you to remember about today: After yesterday's disappointing cancellation of your first day, I think you were doubly excited to go to school this morning.  You insisted on wearing your new pink boots even though it was 85 degrees outside. You went right into the classroom, put your bag in your cubby, gave the apples to your teachers, found your name tag, gave Mommy a kiss, and didn't flinch once. No tears, no clinging, nothing. Mommy cried all the way down the hallway, until I saw another mother sobbing and then I just started laughing and I was fine. Mrs. Drew emailed us later in the day to say that you loved the stop sign game and were attentive and helpful all morning. My favorite part of today was when you came running to me after school exclaiming, "Mommy, mommy!" It made my day. I also loved hearing about your morning the whole way home and at random times during the day. You seemed to remember every detail and I loved hearing your version of everything. I am so excited for you to have this time. I sure do love you.

To My Baby

Happy Birthday to my Baby Girl:

Here you are at your birthday party, moments before licking all the frosting off your cupcake. I love this picture because I can see everything I love about you, from your perfect complexion and rosy lips to your love of butterflies and all things pink. It is, of course, nearly impossible for me to believe it has already been 3 years since you entered our lives - although the time has flown by I can scarcely remember how it felt to not have you in our family. You make us laugh every single day with your funny questions and sayings. You still love to dress up and accessorize and play kitchen but all of it is becoming more sophisticated. Just today you reminded me that you need napkins, a garbage can, and a refrigerator for your little play kitchen. It made me laugh. You are happy and carefree and think everybody loves you. I hope you can hang on to that for a lot longer. You love your mommy and daddy and all your "best friends" - many of whom celebrated with us today. You are learning to color and paint and spell and read and to listen the first time mommy asks you to do something. You are growing up way too quickly and always ask mommy to stop being sad about that. I can't, baby girl, I've tried. I love you more than life itself. Happy Birthday.

a baby blessing

 We were thrilled to be able to bless Kaia at church today and so grateful my parents could be here for the blessing.  My mom made Kaia's gown from my wedding dress, just like she did for Zoey. It is a beautiful blessing gown - absolutely perfect.

the one with some thoughts on the month

Today Kaia is one month and we are slowly (ever so slowly) settling into life with two little ones.  I have many thoughts on the past month, the most prevalent of which is, "Where did the time go?"  During Zoey's first year of life it seemed I lamented each passing moment, feeling desperate to hold on to each of them so my baby would stay a baby.  She did not.  With Kaia it seems I have not had one spare second to sit and lament anything, let alone passing moments.  Phone calls go unanswered, emails go unread, naps go unslept, yet I feel like I have no free moments.  So, without much ado, Kaia turns a month old and time keeps slipping away.  WHY, oh, WHY does this make me so sad?  I can't change it, I know, but I really feel like I am grasping to hold on to something that cannot be held.

With all that said, Zoey is the best at getting Kaia to smile.

And, lastly, Brian and I were able to get out for dinner one night while my mom and sister were here to help (more on all our help to follow shortly).

the one where my baby turns two

We celebrated in California with some family and close friends (sans Daddy) and bagels and donuts.

Zoey loved the donuts from Papa.

She also loved the gifts.

Especially the cupcake book (which she now refers to as her birthday book) - thank you, Cindy!

And Zoey burned off the donut by pulling her cousin Maya around the yard several times.

And, while there are a lot of things I love about Zoey being two years old, I am struggling to find my happy little girl who came with me to California. She seems to be missing, and in her place is a very independent and stubborn little girl. She must get that from her father.

to my little big girl...

Today you are 1 year old and, for reasons I can't seem to articulate, I am sad. I am sad that my tiny baby, who was seemingly born yesterday, is no longer a tiny baby.

More than my sadness, however, I feel gratitude. I am grateful you came to join our family, I am grateful you are healthy and strong, and I am grateful you are happy and funny and oh-so-cute.

You love to dress up (everything can be turned into a necklace or a bracelet), you love balloons and Elmo and flowers and dogs and birds and trucks and kids and music and food. Your excitement over these items, and a few others, is contagious and I am reminded that simple things can make us happy.

The simple things that make me happy are your kissing noises, your hugs, your beautiful smile, your bright eyes, and your tiny dimples.

And so, when I sneak into your room to peek into your crib and watch you sleep, I will try to hold back the tears of sadness and, instead, shed tears of gratitude and happiness. Happy 1st birthday, little one.

early celebration...

We celebrated Zoey's first birthday a few weeks early in order to use the Olsons' beautiful backyard one last time (sniffle, sniffle). We could not have asked for better weather, yummier food, or nicer friends.

flying time...

Zoey,

10 months ago today you looked like this:

and you spent your days sleeping in the arms of mommy or daddy, eating with mommy, and looking around at everything in the hospital room.

Today, you look like this:

and you spend your days climbing up and down the stairs, taking a few steps all by yourself, opening every cupboard in the house, laughing at Elmo, dancing to any and all music, playing with your toys, rushing to the door when you hear daddy, and - if I am lucky - snuggling in my arms for a few brief moments.

I thought time moved fast before you came to our family, but now it truly slips away from us, and - no matter how hard I try - I can't grasp it.

Happy 10-month Birthday, Little One.

Love, Mommy

6 months and counting...

To my 6-month old baby,

I smile when you say, "da-da-da," when I hear you cooing in your crib, and when I see you do something new.

I get tearful when you cry, when we have to leave loved-ones, and when I think about you growing up too fast.

I love your chubby legs, arms, and cheeks, your bright eyes, and your squeal of delight.

You smile when daddy comes home, when you use my hands to pull yourself up to stand, and when someone else smiles at you.

You get tearful when you get shots, when you are tired, and sometimes when mommy leaves the room.

You love toys, music, and when mommy "dances" for you.

Thank you for continuing to make our lives complete.

(These beautiful photographs were taken by Christie H.)

4-month picture

Happy 4-month birthday, little one.

shots...

Got 'em yesterday...

...don't like nothin' about 'em!